Run Amuck: The Cheapest & Most Fun Mud Bath You'll Ever Have!

Every Tuesday I have a little slice of happiness to look forward to while I ride the Metro to work. Being only the second day of the week you might think I’m crazy, enjoying a Tuesday? What is wrong with me?! Ok let’s clear things up. By little slice of happiness what I really mean is the 30 or so minutes on my morning metro ride that I take to devour my Washington Post Express with its weekly Fit section. Because of Fit, Tuesday is probably my favorite day of the week of the Express followed closely by Monday (only for the ‘B.I.O.” section, yes engagement announcements, shoot me…I’m a girl!) then rounding out my top 3 with the Thursday Weekend section.

Yes, I am a big self-proclaimed Kinesiology nerd. That should probably be an oxymoron. “Kinesiology” and “exercise science” don’t exactly conjure up the same kind of images that NASA brings (which is ridiculous since hello! I did work there!). In my free time I like to read articles about health and fitness and I really enjoy trying new types of workouts (hot yoga was my last exotic one, pole dancing is coming soon…I should go back to that flea market for those shoes!). This really should come as no surprise to those of you who know me since I was a Kinesiology major in school and had a brief stint in Physical Therapy school prior to my swift immersion into the fast-paced world of the Federal Government and healthcare IT.

I know what you’re thinking, Kinesi-what?! Yeah. It’s the study of human movement. To illustrate just how much of a nerd I am I have a shirt that provides the definition on the back (holler PEK!). My major was fun and I was surrounded by others who were equally as interested in physical activity as I was. Of course we had some “meatheads” and “endurance junkies” in my major but I loved it. I remember back in college one of the guys in my major posted a blog making fun of our classmates and their intense devotion to the Nalgene bottles. He joked about how KIN majors would act like without their Nalgene they would pass out from all the exertion of class, it was kind of true – people were really weird about their water.

This past weekend I got to indulge my inner kinesiology nerd doing something I had never done before, a mud run. Several months ago I convinced Shanners that it would be a brilliant idea to sign up for the Run Amuck race at Quantico and I think it was probably one of my better decisions. Even after all of the bumps, bruises, scrapes, blisters, and incredibly long showers that resulted from my participation in the race I still had a blast. I have been told I am slightly crazy (I think people just think I’m prissier than I really am) but it was so worth it. The race took place over a 3.5 mile course in the woods at Quantico. We battled crazy hills, mudpits, a football training style tire drill, hay stacks, a 36 inch wall, pipe tunnels, a “barbwire” crawl through another mudpit, and several pit stops armed with Marines yelling at you about proper form for your crunches/flutterkicks/jumping jacks (which of course I had right anyway, duh).

Getting dirty was really fun. Normally I’m being bombarded with people telling me that I need to wear makeup, be more feminine, do my hair, smile more…blah blah blah (ok, totally exaggeration, it’s really only like 3 people). Not here! I can look like a hot mess all I want and rub mud on my face like war paint and it’s totally cool! In fact it’s almost expected! The hotness of being dirty though only extends so far. We made a couple friends along the way, most were while crawling on the ground under the “barbwire” in the mudpit and we bonded over our experiences and are now BFFs for life (ok, I’m lying). One guy was telling me how it was good that it rained and the pit was watered recently or else it would have smelled like a “bear’s ass” to which I promptly replied “I have no idea what a bear’s ass smells like and Sir, I think I am really glad for that!” At that point I realized that despite my hardcore nature and entry in the mud run I never wanted to learn what a bears ass smelled like because the smell of the mud that I was crawling in was bad enough! By 9 am we were done and almost home to shower off the pancaked mud off our bruised bodies. It was a really sexy look despite the fact that we smelled disgusting. I might be over exaggerating since we were getting up close and personal with the ChickFilA cow and the Geico Gecko after the race but I probably shouldn’t judge how serious our smelliness was by the reaction of an animal that lives on a farm and one that can expel “a foul-smelling material and feces onto their aggressors (thank you Wikipedia).”

Finishing!

My legs.

Shanners' Blisters. Hardcore.

I am still waiting for MarathonFoto to upload the professional pictures. Should any be incredibly amusing I will come back and repost this but for now I leave you with the pageant wave.

Ta ta for now!

Let's Get NAKID!!

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted a new blog, please forgive me if this less than amusing. I knew that I would slack sooner or later but I lasted all of two weeks….how pathetic. I will say though, in my defense (against myself…), that I never intended it to be an everyday thing so I think my presence of a life and lack of recent post(s) is totally acceptable.  Anyway, I have filled my time with various things and have managed to keep pretty busy. I love the activities and people I am surrounding myself but it is leaving a serious lack of time for blogging and book writing activities. This might not sound too devastating to the average reader but it is seriously messing with my goal of finishing my book, getting it published, becoming a New York Times Bestseller, and retiring by the age of 30.

Although my creative talents are being stifled it isn’t in vain. I am now getting my workout on with a really fun group every Tuesday playing kickball, oh yes adult kickball. About a month ago I joined a kickball team that was set up by a Meetup group I’m a member of and last week was our first game. Knowing no one on the team I originally thought that it might be a little weird but honestly they are awesome.  The league threw a kickoff party the Friday before the first game at a bar downtown. The kickoff party had a luau theme and I was really excited. I searched for hours the day of the party and managed to find a coconut bra and a couple leis. Excited with my find, I run home and think that maybe somehow I can get this to work and I will be all luau’d out. Yeah, not so much.  Seriously, coconuts really don’t provide a whole lot of coverage. You'd think I would know that beforehand just by the sheer fact that it's basically 2 bowls attached by a piece of string. I probably would have had a really kickass story had I actually worn it to the luau but, being the logical person I am, I had to consider that there was a possibility of being arrested for indecent exposure and I’m not sure I could be someone girlfriend if I had to spend the night in the slammer. I'm boring, sorry to disappoint guys (I’ll try harder next time)!  

I dragged one of my friends with me so that if I couldn’t find the group, or they turned out to hate me with a burning passion, I would at least have someone to keep me entertained. I met a bunch of the team members that night and they are so much fun. We all pretty much instantly bonded and took way too many crazy pictures, 131 to be exact. You would have sworn that I was BFF with a few of these people (I wouldn’t mind that actually). I mean there are pictures where my it looks like someone is about to kiss my leg, there’s a lot of contorted faces, some pictures with grabbing (that was not me, I’m innocent), and of course lots of hugs and kissy faces (cause that’s what girls do).  Weirdly enough, during the kickoff party I actually ran into someone I used to work with at a nonprofit about 3 years ago, proving just how small the world really is (it actually got even smaller later that night).  The party was so much fun and we ended up staying out waaaaay too late.

Since we were out so late we were forced to beg for mercy and hope that someone would drive us home. I deferred to my counterpart on this one since she is much littler and cuter than me, it worked out well. We ended up getting a ride home but not before our ride made a pit stop at a burger joint in Dupont. After he orders his food and we all take a seat in the back of the restaurant near the bathrooms waiting for what seems like forever. Sitting there all sweaty and sleepy from far too much fun I am ready to pass out. A few minutes later I see this guy standing to my left waiting for the bathroom. Of course. Another blast from the past. Long story short, this guy and I hit it off months ago and he ended up being married. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Technically he was separated from his wife but there was just a whole mess of complicated emotions running through his head and he ended up pulling the “I’m broken, you deserve better” card on me.  Anyway, I had no anger at him and I was kind of shocked to run into him in DC. So I stare at him a minute until he recognizes me.

Big mistake. Homeboy was so incredibly awkward.

I say “Hi” and ask him how everything was going and proceed to make pleasant small talk. I’m not sure if he was drunk or high or what but it was like the person I knew had totally disappeared. He stood there and kinda softened his voice and mumbled something about how he was in the line for the bathroom and that he really had to pee, he got out of line for food because peeing is the “number 1 priority” – ummm thanks? Really? How awkward is that? Seriously it made me feel awkward and weird for like over an hour and I did nothing wrong! The whole table could just sense the weirdness, it was just really strange. I thought girls were supposed to be the ones who were all weird and make it tense in these situations. Yes, I am generalizing but I really thought dudes could care less.  Had he acted normally and just been like “Yeah, I’ve been good! How about you? Oh that’s great! Nice! We’ll it was good to see you!” I would have been totally fine, that’s honestly what I expected….not some bumbling mess telling me that he has to pee while he’s standing in line waiting to use the bathroom. I might not be a genius but I think I can figure that one out on my own.  I’m going to just tell myself that he was drunk or high.

Anyway, back to kickball. The league we are playing on is named NAKID which stands for “No Adult Kickball Isn’t Dumb”. I played kickball last year with WAKA (I have no idea what that stands for) and it was a blast so I was ready. I have learned to control that overly excited urge that I get to kick the ball really really really far away which actually causes me to completely miss the ball by kicking too high. I was guilty of that way more than I would like to admit back in middle school (it was pretty embarrassing, trying to look awesome but really you end up looking like a joke…sucked!).  Our first game was this past week and it was a blast. We kind of got our worlds rocked by the other team but it wasn’t for lack of spirit! I ended up wiping out by sliding/tripping on the way to second base, got a nice bruise on my right knee and one on my left hip (I’m that hardcore). I also fell backwards after reaching first base on my second time up to kick, luckily my teammate was there to stop me from completely falling backwards – we are always looking out.

Flip cup after the game was actually probably more intense than the actual kickball game itself. I learned that I get really overly competitive with flip cup, in an endearing way of course. I’m really looking forward to this week’s game. I’m thinking I might try to fall less this time (although it was really amusing). In all reality though, my real goal is to do a somersault or a cartwheel to get to a base or something. I think that the style points alone should allow me to be safe on that one.   Of course with my luck there is probably some unsportsmanlike conduct rule I would be breaking and I'd be kicked out of the game or fined a million dollars (thanks for messing up sports T.O., you were a little overly excited at times but I did love it...when you were a Cowboy). There are 9 more weeks left in the season, it’ll happen…just watch. Until then I will be practicing my cartwheels.